Soon it will be christmas. I am in a new city now than we were last year, and even though its only about 20 miles difference, my friends seem much farther than that.
I will be traveling back to my old city for christmas with my family, and will hopefully see my friends of old. The holidays are such a wonderful time for pretty much everyone, except I am still thinking I don't have enough. Not to say enough material stuff, although I can be materialistic sometimes, but other things.
when I moved away with my family, I broke up with my boyrfriend. And although it seems like he has moved on, and I have given the illusion that I have as well, I still can't stop thinking about him. It's been 4 months now since we broke up, and yet all I can think about it how much I miss him at night, not being able to fall asleep with him. There are some things about him I don't like, but then I remember the fact that I would make those things about him better, and best of all he would make me a better person.
At this point I'm just hoping to get through the holidays without thinking about him all the time, and being home probably won't help. My family will help though, and maybe if I surround myself with enough material philanthropy, I will forget, even if for a moment.
On that note, this spouting also helps in its own way. thank you, dear internet.
Does anyone else know how I feel?
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The silence is deafening. Although not so much when typing here, i can say that there is a lot to say and not many ways to say it, especially when you live in such a high-class world like me, which has high expectations. Sometimes they are too high.
